Yup, last time I wrote in this was January promising to post more about my New Zealand trip that happened TWO years ago. True, motherhood and working has taken up most of my time. And the downtime I get, I just want to chill and veg out. Looking at a computer after work is out of the question.
MTV Classic just launched yesterday (August 1). I’ve been home nursing a cold (also working from home so I’m not swamped when I get back in the office) and it’s been the perfect excuse to relive my teenage years and early-20s.
Music videos were an amazing outlet for aspiring directors. A lot of the videos were really inventive and showed new creative ways to tell stories. I also found that time in my life to be my most creative — I was very inspired by these videos — and mainly the music itself. One of my paintings hanging in my parents’ house was inspired by Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun,” as well as a finger painting I did to a string rendition of Tool songs.
Drinking this nostalgia Kool-Aid has motivated me to take a really good look at myself and revisit bunch of unfinished projects that I started pre-baby. Life is starting to get back to some sort of normal. It’ll never be the same as it was (which I’m happy about cause this kid is amazing), but it’s important to not lose sight of who you are. “Mom” has taken up so much of my personality lately that I’ve forgotten what being “Rori” was like. Writing in this blog, going to shows, creating art, traveling — it’s all still there, but was just pushed beneath the surface.
Watching MTV Classic with all the videos that were on TV during my pivotal years reminded me of how important it is to enjoy and let go. It’s almost like when I watched “Inside Out” (the Pixar movie). With more responsibilities and “growing up,” we lose track of who we were at an “easier” time in our lives. There’s our inner child just screaming to get out again.
I recently got a new tattoo based off some photos I took of the Australian sunset in Perth, as well as one of my unfinished art projects that was also based off of these photos. I showed the tattoo artist this project (which she drew a lot of inspiration from) and told her I started this piece back in 2013 and haven’t finished it. You know what she said? “You should really finish it.” She was dead serious. Like almost annoyed or offended that I hadn’t done so yet. This didn’t upset me. Far from it. It was more like someone who’s ridiculously artistic trying to push someone who’s learning the importance of finishing what you start. Story of my life in a lot of ways.
Do I want to relive my teenage years? Hell no. Those were some trying times at points. But I’m enjoying the memories all these songs are bringing back. And it’s motivated me to bring out my inner teen — the girl who didn’t fit into the mold, the girl who wasn’t scared to try new things, the girl who let the creativity just flow and rode the wave.
I had a whole idea of how I wanted to write this post, but since I’m so rusty, it’s not exactly how I wanted it to be.
But, I’ll get there.
And here’s my promise: I may not update this blog as often as I want, but I’m sure as hell going to try a lot harder than I have been lately. I’m going to finish projects I’ve started pre-Captain Awesome. They might not get done right away. But they’re going to get done. No timeline, no deadline. Just as long as I try.
That’s all I can do🙂